This Heart

by Nehedar

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credits

released June 11, 2013

All songs Copyright Emilia Cataldo 2013, Produced by Craig Levy at Little Pioneer Cider House, Brooklyn NY, All Music Performed by Emilia Cataldo and Craig Levy except Trumpet on Bells of the City, On Killing, I Used To Have Friends and A Dollar's Fine by Mike Shobe, Violin on Take This World, On Killing and Something to Call Mine, by Dave Keen, Violin on To Be Small by Hannah Elka Meyers, Cover Photo by David Zimand, Layout by Jacob Fine

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Nehedar New York, New York

Nehedar is the project of multi-genre singer-songwriter Emilia Cataldo.

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Track Name: Bells of the City
What do you dream about?
you get so caught up but the bells of the city call you home...

things that you might have been
a carefree dancing girl but the bells of the city call you home

try to be everything get in a good routine but the bells of the city call you home...

get in over your head, makes you wish you were dead
but there's so many things left to do
if the cries turn to screams, dark malevolent dreams
not even your name rings true

armed and prepared to fight
but you don't know which side till the bells of the city call you home

building a nice career out of a life of fear but the bells of the city call you home...

well you can't have it both ways baby, you know you've gotta choose
you gotta jump right in not knowing if you will win or you will lose.
Track Name: Take This World
Where you start determines how far you go
And success is based just on who you know

In this town, you're either up or you're down
you're the king or you're just hanging around

Life is cruel, to everyone but a few
who gain success at the dreams they pursue

Giving up, a fickle choice, sometimes wise
what's the use, of a million tries?

The only thing I ever thought was magic
is the only thing I'll never get to be

so take this world from me
the droll monotony
the working endlessly
i'm giving up
yes take it all away
I don't care what you say
the book of yesterday
lets burn it up

Everything you ever knew was a lie
Everyone you ever loved's gonna die
They own the world
I was born in you see
All they want is to rent it to me

The only thing I ever thought was magic
Is the only thing I'll never get to be

So take this world from me.
Track Name: Weight of Your Bones
Nobody knows the reason, nobody knows the rhyme
Something about the season, something about the time
Here I am in the wrong place, lucky for me I'm fine
Luck of the draw in some states, somebody's gonna be crying

You're never alone, when misery's your home but
It's not like you'll ever see
The weight of your bones and all the armor that you own
You're afraid to let go and feel anything

Hard to protect my feelings when you disrespect my mind
Identity disappearing one billboard at a time
Please take it away I beg you, and I won't miss a thing
I'll pray to the god of solace, and from my heart I'll sing

You're never alone...

We wait each day for goodness to come our way.

You're never alone...
Track Name: What's Becoming
I love you but you're killing me
I love you get away from me
I love you but you're killing me

I feel older than I should be
my mood can get away from me
I'm jumpy and it's hard to breathe

Thought I get no peace of mine, you just don't care
This life hardly feels like mine
All I need is somewhere I can get away
I'm afraid of what's becoming

I love you but you're hurting me
it isn't looking good for me
your apathy's a curse for me

I feel put out as I can be
anxiety controlling me
a shell of what I used to be

Thought I get no peace of mind you just don't care...

The inside froze in an awkward pose, I just need some time to sort it out.
They say take pills, pay someone to talk it out, I just need someplace to let it go...

Though I get no peace of mind you just don't care...
Track Name: On Killing
The way out of here
is littered with dead bodies
but he has no fear
his eyesight is so shoddy

A warriors pride
dying inside
and mercy is out of time

They taught him to kill
And he was a good student
cause he had the will
and training him seemed prudent

Now it's too late
you've sealed your fate
there's nothing to do but wait

I look at you I don't know you I can't see you I can't show you anything.
so why even try
life's misleading inconsistent and if I missed a minute I apologize
I wasn't calling your name

The shoes he can fill are bloody and out of date, remarkable skill to filter the world through hate
It's no one's fault, we all turn to salt and we
wash away to the sea

I look at you I don't know you I can't see you I can't show you anything...
Track Name: This Heart
This heart will fall apart
I don't know when I can't pretend
This heart won't last forever so
I'm gonna feel everything until I go

The heart expands and it contracts
Some hearts are red, but mine is black
Your arms around my soul protect, and your hands warm the skin on my neck..

This house will fall apart, don't board it up, it's standing yet
but since it's only made of wood
I'll cherish each moment in it I could

This house is warm
and it is mine
weathers the storms
and looks so fine
someday
we two will part
one life ends and another will start

These eyes, show me your light, I take it in, under the skin
Until my little light is gone, I'll take it in, hold it and pass it on

I love to look
all around
so full of shit
that they are brown
big as when I was born
and they have matched every outfit that I've worn

This soul is very old
glad to be here for reasons unclear
safe from harm and control
it will be free when my body is cold

each night it journeys to the sky
demons will try to catch a ride
and never can I say, I did this cause my soul had its way.
Track Name: Something to Call Mine
Put on my coat and head outside I'm never going back
The backwoods road that led me here I'll never walk that track
again

I had a feeling it was over
But I had something left to say
You'll understand it when you're older
turn my shoulder, walk away

I think of all the time that's passed since I walked through your door
I gave you all I had to give but you still needed more
and more

I didn't even want to stay here
but I grew comfortable in time
just gotta find another way
take some time to pray
for something to call mine

The grass is gone, the sky is grey but the leaves will soon return
The story's not a new one, but the lesson's mine to learn.
I'll learn

I had a feeling it was over...
Track Name: Why Do They Tell Me
Why do they tell me to go on
like they think that it's worth it
Why do they tell me to go on?

Why do they tell me that I'm good
I need to just work it
Why do they tell me that I'm good?

I try so hard but I'll never get nowhere
Mama tell me why do I still care?

Nothing is certain anymore
Why try to be good now
Nothing is certain anymore

Is it time for the curtain or the door
Don't know what I should now
Cause nothing is certain anymore

I try so hard but I never get nowhere...

And the last thing that you want is to be perfect...
And the last thing that you want is to be done
There's a war inside I fight it daily with my pride

Won't you tell me that you hear me
Won't you tell me that I'm real
Won't you tell me there's enough in me that I don't have to steal

I try so hard but I never get nowhere.
Mama tell me why do I still care
Fools go where the cowards do not dare
i try so hard but I'll never get nowhere.
Track Name: I Used to Have Friends
I guess I have friends
But not when I need em
I used to have friends
But not so much anymore

I used to have friends
But I guess I didn't feed em
I used to have friends
But now I only have you I only have you....

We'd talk on the phone about what we're doing
We'd go to the park
In groups when it's nice out
We would be neighbors
We would be sisters
Yeah I miss the days when
I used to have friends I used to have...

I know I'll get them all back someday
When I'm not so down they'll be back to play
oh fair weather friends are still better than no friends aren't they?

If life was a party, I'd never be lonely
But we're not that young
And it's not that fun anymore
I thought we were close when you came to my wedding
But that was a party
And now I really need more
I really need...
Track Name: A Dollar's Fine
I don't care if you have a heart
I don't care if you have a mind
I don't care if you have the nerve
to go back home...
A dollar's fine

Put your head in the sand know that god is in command
He's in charge of this land let it be, yeah you know it'll be all right if we just think of the light, make it through another night. Sleep tight.

Who will save your soul, when it comes to rock and roll
hearts and minds, nickled dimed, focus grouped to the edge of life

Put your head in the sand...

Passion's shadow lurks in every alley, I don't pay that no mind.
I won't be the fool to suffer gladly all the time

I don't know but I've been told, if you take the garbage they will keep the gold

Put your head in the sand...
Track Name: Self Fulfilling Prophecy
There is no point going on
All of the good times are gone
Even memories are disappearing one by one they fade away

The forces are closing in
Seems like the darkness will win
All the rituals have lost their meaning, never to be seen again

Peace and quiet, storm and riot, which one will it be? Love and laughter or disaster, please don't look at me.

The sky is opening up, the gates of mercy have shut, all the animals have run for cover, elephants are on their knees.

Pray to whoever you can, the god of kings or of man, if your legs can hold you, keep control until you see the promised land.

Peace and quiet, storm and riot, which one will it be?...

No matter what you do, the prophecy will come true
I will wait for the sky to fall on me, I promise to wait patiently, I will wait for the sky to fall on me, I promise to wait patiently...

There is no point going on...

Peace and quiet, storm and riot... which one will it be?...
Track Name: To Be Small
You're not bad you're just different you're holier when you're small
And the power you yield unbelievable for a girl

They will say look away and avail yourself of the world
But the truth is you'll never be small enough to be heard

But if you saw the world through my eyes, would you smile and collect the prize?
Cause it seems like something's missing inside
The queen's untimely demise, do you miss her for all of the lies
And a broken world that begs you to be small.

Build a fire inside so bright build it so high
All the borders and trenches that let you connect to the sky
Is it ok to question to wrestle with your love?

All the same without blame I think we've seen enough.

But if you saw the world through my eyes...
Track Name: Bring It Up
It's been so dark in the light of day, can't make the bad dreams go away, the more I sink the less I pray, I guess it's easier that way...

Another sun another moon another rhyme another tune
I close my eyes so I can't see, the truth splayed out in front me

Bring it up...
From the deep...
Bring it up...
My soul to keep...

We're lost in space and we're lost in time
On our deathbeds in our prime
I hope they will think well of me
As I decay in misery

Bring it up...

It can bring you down, when everybody is around... your thoughts get bound up, they get no air. And all the fear and all the pain you have to think away just hangs around another day

I won't let go of childish things.
We will grow into queens and kings
A watered plant is sure to grow
don't over water it though

Bring it up...